Book review: “This is where you belong”
“You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.” – Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
While my wife and I were pondering where we should raise our kids, I listened to an interview with Melody Warnick, the author of the book “This is where you belong - Finding Home wherever you are”. Hoping that the book would help us to make a better decision, I immediately ordered a copy and worked my way through it.
The central premise is this: people, who feel attached to the place they are living in, tend to be happier, feel less anxious, and live longer than those who believe they are just moving through.
However, it usually takes many years of living in the same place before you feel attached to it. And because we live in a time of moving far and frequently, many miss out on those benefits.
The author, too, had moved many times with her family, chasing career opportunities, self-improvement and happiness. Every time, she believed to have found the perfect place to settle in, but soon grew restless again.
When she realized that her approach wasn’t working, she decided to try something new: instead of looking for a better place to live, she would attempt to feel better about her current one.
Treating it as an experiment, she set out to answer the following question: can you develop place attachment by mimicking people who have already attained it?
Informed by relevant research, the author engaged in various activities, ranging from exploring her neighborhood on foot and meeting her neighbors all the way to volunteering and engaging politically.
Her efforts led to a clear conclusion: by taking deliberate action, we create meaningful memories and build new relationships, which help us to develop place attachment.
What’s more, the book contains a clear call to action. If you feel like you’re missing out on the benefits of place attachment, there’s plenty you can do. Don’t wait for the perfect place, but begin to grow roots right nor, wherever you are.
Our case is a bit different though: we already feel at home and can’t quite imagine to move elsewhere. If it wasn’t for the problematic school situation, we’d probably stay put for a very long time.
But nevertheless, the book has still been useful to us. I now feel confident that regardless of where we move, we will be able to turn it into our new home eventually.
And so somewhat ironically, a book about staying put has made it more likely for us to move.