The farewell post I never published at work
At the end of June, all European teams in my department were broken up as our former positions were moved to India. And just like that, a major chapter in my life came to an abrupt and unceremonious end.
After all, Iâve spent nearly nine years of my life in that department. During that time, I helped to take a software system all the way from a vague idea to an enterprise-ready product offering.
As a principal developer, I got to shape the systemâs architecture, refine our development processes, and work with many bright individuals. I helped to bring the system along through several pivots, updated priorities, and constant management changes. And I got to observe countless decisions play out over time, including various forms of triumph and blunder.
Therefore, you probably wonât be surprised to hear that this change has affected me deeply.
At first, the negative emotions were predominant. I was angry that someone else had decided that it was time for my journey to end. I was disappointed about how poorly this change was communicated. And I was anxious about what this would mean for my future.
But over time, I started to see the positive aspects as well:
- A reason to finally find a new job: I havenât been happy at work for a while, but always found an excuse to stay just a little bit longer. Even though I was offered a similar position in a different department, I just canât see myself beginning anew within the same company.
- Permission to stop caring: As Iâve mentioned above, weâve helped an entire software system to grow from infancy to adulthood. Shepherding it through a myriad of changes and various incidents, I felt responsible for that systemâs success and didnât want to abandon it. Over the years, that responsibility has turned into a burden that took its toll.
- Better understanding of the employer/employee relationship: At the start of my career, I believed in naive statements like âwe are all family at workâ. I knew this wasnât true. But nothing is as educational as actually being treated like a replaceable cog in a giant machine.
- Connecting with others: I now know exactly what it feels like to be a victim of layoffs or a restructuring effort. This helps me to connect with people affected by similar changes all over the world.
- Reflecting on all those years: Over the past nine years, a lot has happened: Iâve met so many people, learned so many things, and even became quite a different person. The end of this chapter in my life has created a perfect opportunity to look back and reflect.
Nowadays, the initial anger, disappointment, and anxiety have vanished. Instead, pride, gratitude, and excitement have taken their places.
But most importantly, I feel a sense of closure. I can see the full arc of my story: it began when I joined as one of the first European employees, and it ended when I left as one of the last.
Also, the timing could not have been better. Just one week before our team got broken up, my daughter was born. And with that, a new and exciting chapter of my life has begun.
âTransition always starts with an ending. To become something else, you have to stop being what you are now; to start doing things a new way, you have to end the way you are doing them now; and to develop a new attitude or outlook, you have to let go of the oldâ â Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges