Five things to savor before becoming a parent
Before our first child was born, I had absolutely no clue about what being a parent is like. I mean, yeah sure, I had some ideas of what it would be like. But in retrospect, most of them proved wrong or irrelevant.
What’s more, all my attention was on the big topics (like purpose and meaning or keeping everyone safe and healthy). As a result, I didn’t think about the more mundane things, in particular what my life would look like day-to-day.
Had I thought about this more, I might have realized that soon my life would no longer revolve around what I wanted, but around what my kids needed.
Having missed out on that particular insight, I failed to make the most out of the wonderful time just before our first child was born.
This is why, every time I meet soon-to-be parents, I give them the following bits of advice:
- Sleep in: very soon your sleep will be interrupted frequently throughout EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. It will take several months before your kid sleeps consistently through most nights. But even then, kids love to get up early! And once they do, they want action. Thus, sleep in whenever you can! Enjoy the luxury of lying in bed, doing nothing, perhaps dozing off again! Appreciate every single minute of it!
- Couple time: very soon, your newborn will be the center of your attention (as it should). Invariably, your baby will also become the main (if not sole) topic of every conversation between you and your spouse. And the older your child grows, the more there is to talk about. Hence, use the time leading up to the birth for quality time with your spouse – and talk about stuff unrelated to your baby occasionally.
- Go out: generally our kids go to bed early, but occasionally we’re out late. On such evenings, I can’t help but feel a little envious of the young folk. While we’re frantically pushing our strollers through the streets, we’re passing plenty of restaurants and bars, each warmly lit and packed with people enjoying themselves, apparently without any notion of time, worries or responsibilities. So, make sure to go out with your friends a few times more.
- Hobbies: soon it will be difficult to find long stretches of focussed, uninterrupted time. This might make it hard to pursue some of your favorite pastimes: for me it is spending a full afternoon immersed in a novel or programming problem, for my wife it is dance classes. But whatever it is for you, pursue it while you still have plenty of time.
- Travel: if you think you can still squeeze in some travel before the birth, do it! About four months before our first kid was born, we travelled to Corsica. For about two weeks, we enjoyed the scenery, food, and hiking with good friends of ours. It was definitely a special time, especially since we knew it was going to be our last trip for a while.
I know that there’s A LOT to prepare beforehand, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying the special time before your kid arrives! With a bit of planning and balancing, you should be able to do both.
Last, but not least: my kids are the biggest source of joy, pride, and meaning in my life. I love them more than anything in the world. And very soon, you will feel the same way about your kid too!