Where to send the kids to school?
āWhat is worry, at its core, but the activity of a mind attempting to picture every single bridge that might possibly have to be crossed in future, then trying to figure out how to cross it?ā ā Meditations for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman
I absolutely love where we live. Admittedly, the apartment we live in has a couple of problems: somewhat small for raising two kids, no insulation, and a single bathroom without windows. But these downsides are far outweighed by the positive aspects: nice neighbors, a quiet street, and everything you could possibly want right within walking distance (public park, cafes, restaurants, public transport).
Until recently, I definitely saw us raising our two children here. But when I learned what sort of public school weād have to send our kids to, I became seriously concerned.
I wonāt discuss all the issues of that particular school here. All Iām going to say is that it has had deep, structural problems for over a decade. And, as I know from personal experience, even the best teachers canāt succeed in a broken system.
As we believe in the value of education, we want our kids to land in an adequate learning environment right from the start. The school assigned to us definitely canāt provide that. And so we decided that we have to find an alternative school.
Admittedly, our son wonāt enter school for another three years (which will double his current age). But given the glacial pace of administrative processes and the overcrowded and expensive real estate market in this city, weād rather start early. More importantly though, Iām the kind of person that wants to have a plan for everything.
Therefore, it probably wonāt surprise you to hear that this problem consumed all of my attention from the moment I learned about it. During the days, I searched for alternatives. During the nights, I had problems falling asleep.
Hereās a list of the options we came up with:
- Private school: Right within cycling distance of our home, thereās a bilingual private school. A few of our neighbors have sent their kids there and are happy with the school. Our first impression of the school was mixed though, and they might not admit our kids due to capacity constraints.
- Request a change of public school: Thereās another, better public school within walking distance of our home, but it is not our assigned school. We could ask if our son could be transferred, but this is unlikely to be granted.
- Move to another district: Using the published results of school inspections, we could identify a set of districts with good schools and start looking for apartments there. Sadly, in this city apartments are either unavailable, overrun with applicants or ridiculously expensive (four to six times our current rent).
- Move to the suburbs: My parents in law live in the eastern suburbs, an area dominated by single family homes. The public schools in that area are great and the kids would be closer to their grandparents. However, weād probably have to become owners of a single family home and change our lifestyle accordingly, something Iām not really willing to do.
- Move to an entirely different city: Living in this city has become absurdly expensive. So, we considered moving to another city with similar qualities, but with lower cost of living. Due to the many unknowns, this would certainly be an adventure. However, weād lack our social network. Most importantly though, our kids would spent less time with their grandparents, something we really donāt want to give up.
Unfortunately, no clear winner has emerged yet. All options have some pros and some cons. No option is ideal, and no option can clearly be discarded.
What exacerbates the problem is that we want our kids to grow up in a stable environment. We donāt want our kids to change their daycare and school every few years, which limits the sort of experiments we are willing to do.
As a result, I keep cycling through this list. Every day, I select one of the options as my favorite, only to replace it with another one from the same list the next day.
I realize the absurdity of my behavior, but I havenāt yet found a way to alter it.
A part of me would love to just accept the uncertainty and trust that all will turn out well. Three years is so far away. Who knows what might happen in that time?
But another part of me is longing to find a solution now. If only I could identify the ideal solution, then I could begin to act right now.
I donāt know how to resolve that tension yet, so the two things I should probably focus on are: conducting more experiments and practice to live with the uncertainty.